Thursday, February 5, 2009

The following is something I wrote June of 2007 right around Campbell's birthday. That was five months after I had to let him go. This past Monday was 2 years since that time.

~Jenni~


I got Campbell when I was13 years old. I just knew it when I laid my eyes on him that we were soul mates. He knew it too. It's like a look of relief just lifted from him, and he saw how much I loved him back.

I had always wanted a dalmation. Not because of 101 Dalmations; I just always liked black and white things, and I love dogs. I had 2 rabbits that were black and white too. We got Cams from a family that lived on a farm. His owner was a girl a year younger than me. He would always escape and go to the neighboring farm and chase the cows and chickens. The neighbor would shoot at him to scare him away. But then he told the family that if Campbell didn't stop, then he would shoot him. The family decided it was for the best to give him a good home. My dad worked for someone who knew someone who was getting rid of a 6 month old dalmation. Dad had always liked dalmations too (maybe that's where I get it) so he decided to take him as a trial period. "Two weeks- That's it" my mom telling me before we even got him (two weeks turned into 11 years.) I was so excited I could not contain myself. Campbell was more beautiful than I could even imagine. Tall, muscular, shiny coat with such unique black spots and magnificent white body. My mom once asked me if Campbell was in a line up of dalmations would I recognize him. Dalmation's spots are so unique as well as their personality. I said "Of course I would know him, as he would me." We were like peas and carrots. We did everything together. Cam's favorite thing to do was to run down the street, with me chasing like it was a game. He would run way up ahead of me and then wait for me to catch up just for him to run ahead some more. A little bit it to be expected, but Cams had so much energy he could go for 2 or 3 BLOCKS. Let me tell you- it was so much easier to catch him when I got my license! But he wasn't ADD or too crazy or uncontrollable. He did have ALOT of energy. But he would sit and stay and shake and he loved to chase balls but not bring them back. Campbell would also chew up our trees in the backyard, ripping the branches off and chewing on the trunk- they were small trees. He would also take the firewood off the stack and carry it around the yard. Campbell loved to chase bunnies out side or in. I have a scar where he tried to get Domino but he got me instead because I was protecting her. And one summer he got a turtle out of Mom's flower bed and was carrying it around the yard like a prize. I had to pry his jaws open to get him off that one- and when I did he was trying to jump on me so I had to put him inside and hide the turtle. That poor thing was scared as could be! Probably the funniest thing Campbell did was jump and peek over our 6 foot wood fence to see what was going on on the other side. He was there for my heartbreaks, my successes. He watched me grow into a woman. He slept with me and he woke me in the morning to go out. He would lay on me when I was crying because he knew I hurt but didn't know how to fix it. He would wait up for me and he would howl in my room before I got home (as Mom has told me.) He was scared of thunder and lightening as well as gunshots or anything that sounded like it. One fourth of July (maybe the first one I had him) we had a neighborhood block party and we had a fire truck come down the cul-de-sac. I was sitting on the sidewalk a few houses down, and when that truck blew it's horn, Campbell got so scared he climbed in my lap then got up and peed on me. Let me tell you- it was pretty gross. I went home immeadiately and rinsed my leg off. I was mad at him, but then I looked at him and understood. He was trying to feel safe, and maybe even he marked me to make sure nothing else took me from him. I think it's a combination of both. I couldn't stay mad for long. Campbell was the one being that I could always depend on to be there, to love me, to understood how I felt. He was the best pet I ever had. He didn't feel like a pet to me, he felt more like my baby.

It was the hardest day for me when I had to put him down. He was sick a couple of weeks before and was seeming to recover well, but since he had laying more and not eating and drinking properly it seemed to be a bad combination. He was weak. I had been preparing myself in the prior weeks because I knew that he was older and big dogs die earlier. I had taken Cambell to the vet the day before because he was not eating and drinking again. The doctor did blood and liver tests and everything seemed to be okay for him. So the doctor gave Campbell more fluids and said to let him know how he was doing. So I had been home with Cams after work every night for the couple of weeks he was sick and decided to go out. I carried Campbell upstairs and put him on his bed with chicken I had made for him and a bowl of water. He neither ate nor drank. I went to Applebee's with Crissy to meet for dinner. Mom called me when we were getting ready to leave and told me Campbell had fallen down the stairs. When I got home he was laying in the living room almost to the back door. That was the furthest he could go. I just went over to him and put my arm around him and balled and balled, much like I am now. My mom and dad just sat there with me while I cried. There was nothing they could do- and they knew what I needed to do. I knew too. I cried for probably twenty minutes. He stayed on his bed the whole night until he needed to go out, and when he attempted to go down the stairs he just tumbled down them. I should have left him on his bed downstairs before I left. After I had composed myself I picked Campbell up and carried all 70 pounds of him back upstairs and laid him on my bed, and I crawled in beside him. That was the last night I was going to sleep with his warm body next to me. He couldn't sleep and neither could I. He was panting and whining all night long, and at 6:30 in the morning he wanted off my bed. So I put Campbell on his bed on the floor. He then tried to get up and go into the bathroom. He fell on the linoleum of the bathroom and peed himself. I cleaned it up and made sure he hadn't hurt himself. I moved him to the hall and got dressed, then I sat with him in the hall. He continued to whine and pant. At 7:30 I called the vet and he said "Bring him in and we'll see him now." So I carried him to the car and when we got to the office I just held him in my lap until the vet was ready. I dazingly signed some papers and wrote a check while the doctor explained the procedure. I was waiting for the doctor to come back in the room when my phone went off. I got a text from Emily, who has been my best friend since childhood. I hadn't talked to her at all recently, and when I called her right then she driving down the street right by the vet. I think it was a connection. I think she could feel me and was trying to make me feel good, and when I told her what I was doing and where I was, I think she understood too why she sent me that message. When the doctor came back in I just held Campbell's head and let him hear my voice while it happened. Campbell was 11 1/2 when he passed. It was February 2, 2007. I miss him so much it jurts me, I cry when I look at pictures, and yet I still look because it's the closest thing I have to holding him. I have very vivid dreams about him where I can feel his fur and feel him breathing. Campbell's birthday was June 19, 7 days before mine. This is definitely the hardest thing I have ever had to go thru- missing Campbell.

1 comment:

  1. I am crying like a big old baby after reading that one...this essay clearly shows how much you loved Campbell.

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